The Gilbert Chronicles
by XandriaViatorri
Summary: A bunch of very short chapters featuring Gilbert Beilschmidt, a man who should probably be committed to a mental institution, and his close friend, Roderich. Rated T because of drug usage, and the fact that I'm a bit paranoid. PruAus, mostly platonic. Mostly.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Hey, people of the internet! This is going to be a series of connected drabbles. I'm going to be conducting an experiment since I'm bored and have nothing better to do with my summer! My goal is one review. I don't really expect this to do very well. Meh, whatever. Even if this fails epically, I'll still be reading fan fiction for most of the day.

The Cruelty

"Nein! Roderich, you don't understand!" yelled Gilbert as the purple eyed pianist stole the most precious object from him.

"What, this?" he asked as he slowly disassembled the rubber bands from their bracelet form. A slightly sadistic smile spread across his face.

"No! That took twenty minutes for my awesome self to make!"

Roderich sighed. "It astounds me that you waste so much time making cheap jewelry when you could be doing something that's actually productive.

"Like what?"

"Go outside, read a book, weed the garden... Go hang out with that ridiculous Bad Touch Trio of yours!"

"Uh, no. They're either at the cafe or flirting with Arthur and Lovino."

An irritated tic appeared near the Austrian's eyebrow. "I really don't care what you do, just get out of my house for a while!"

"But-!"

"Get a life, Gilbert!"

Roderich stormed out of the room, Gilbert following. The rubber bands lay forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- No reviews, but I had seen that 12 people had read this, so I was like, "Heck yeah! I'm gonna post more!" So, here I am the next day, typing away.

Gilbert the Annoying

"Sie sind argerlich!" An angry Austrian yelled, cursing the day he met Gilbert.

"What did _I_ do?"

"You started living with me, you free-loader! Go be a bum at Ludwig's house!"

"But Roddy-" A murderous glare fixed itself upon the the albino, but Gilbert ignored it. "Your hause is so much better! It has more fragile things to break, and awesome instruments-"

"That you are _not_ allowed to touch, no matter what your level of 'expertise' is."

"-and, besides, those Italian guys are always over at Ludwig's hause."

"Is there anything _else_ you would like to mention?"

"Oh yeah! Kugel's here!"

"Do you mean Edwin?"

"Yeah, that kid!"

"... leave, Gilbert."

"Fine, I'll go!"

"Good."

"Bye."

Gilbert left to annoy someone else for the time being.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Ack, I forgot that I'm going to be leaving my Nana's house in about a week, I have to start writing quickly!

Ludwig und Francis (at a random Starbucks in Germany)

"Ludwig! Roderich is kicking me out of his hause!"

"About time."

Gilbert gasped at his brother. "K-Klein Bruder, you don't really think that, do you?"

"Stop with the dramatics. Of course I believe that, If anyone else were Roderich, either you'd be in a casket, or they'd be in a mental hospital recovering from trauma."

"A casket?!"

"Yes, a casket."

"But why?"

"Mais oui..." Francis seemingly appeared from nowhere with a coffee in one hand. "D'accord, anyone else who lived with Gilbert would surely commit suicide within days, non? It's a wonder that Roderich has made it this far."

"It is _not_! I'm a wonderful person to live with!"

"No, you're not."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- Multiple posts a day! YEAH!

The Chocolate Store

The albino left the coffee shop slightly miffed at his brother and friend.

"I should go annoy Roder- oh, yeah, he doesn't want me at his hause anymore. Whatever."

Gilbert subconsciously took the route to Roderich's house, where, he realized, he probably wasn't going to be welcome for a while.

'Where to go... Swissy would probably shoot me, Roderich would strangle me with a piano wire, Arthur might curse me, and Denny would go all Viking on me. Where should I goooooo?'

Gilbert was passing through a small shopping district when he saw that a chocolate shop was having a sale. He immediately took interest.

The red eyed man rummaged through a bin of chocolates from different countries when one with a shiny purple wrapper caught his eye.

"Dutch chocolate?" Gilbert grinned. "I'm going to the Netherlands."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- It's 99 degrees outside and guess who's stuck out in the screen room with a wasp by the door, effectively trapping me in here. Ah, the joys of a Texas summer...

When in the Netherlands, Do as the Dutch Do

Gilbert stood at the door of the Dutchman, hoping he wasn't too late. It _was_ dusk, after all.

"I told you to go away, Antonio!" the door opened, revealing a peppy girl with a whisk.

"Hey, Belle! Is Lars here?"

"Yeah, sorry! He's in the living room!"

"Awesome!" Gilbert followed Belle inside and flopped down on the couch where Lars was flipping through TV channels aimlessly.

"Belle, there's nothing o- oh, hi, Gil. What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to hang out. Roddy kicked me out for a while."

"Oh, okay, then. It'd be nice if there was actually something to do, though."

"You don't have any video games or movies?"

"No video games, and all of my movies are old."

"We could always go out and get spectacularly drunk."

"No. I've got a better idea."

"Which would be..?"

"...What do I always do?"

"Oh... OH! That's an awesome idea!"

Forty minutes later, Belle was bringing a cake that she had baked, only to discover that they were as high as the sky.

"Hey, Mars..."

"Yeah..?"

"Do you see zee pretty... emo pixie... with zat mug of beer?"

Lars looked up at the ceiling with a dopey smile.

"I _do_!" Gilbert gave a look of astonishment.'

Belle smiled and left the cake on the table for the stoned duo, glad that Lars wasn't complaining anymore.

A/N- I don't think that this is the norm for Dutch people, it's just nescessary for the plot to move on. Sorry, Dutch people. :P


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- I have escaped the outside world! Back in my sanctuary. XD

The Mysterious Cake

Recovering from his stoned state, Gilbert spotted a cake on the table. Not only that, but a _chocolate_ cake.

'_Whoa_, bro. Is that real?'

The comment about the cake being real was a concern for Gilbert, as he had been seeing a pair of glasses on Lars' face, aside from other things. In the past hour or so, he had seen an egg with a manical smiley face, Lars' hair tye-dyed in multiple bright colors, and Fritz's face spinning and flying across the room screaming 'wooooooo!' All in all, it was quite eventful.

But now Gilbert had cake in front of him. He also had quite the case of the munchies.

The albino stuck a finger in the icing, but Lars stopped him from taking too much, motioning in direction of the kitchen.

'What? Oh. Silverware.'

"You go get it!" Gilbert whisper-shouted. Then a thought occurred to him.

"Oh, Gott! What if it's poisoned?!"

"Are you still high?"

"No..."

"Would you like to get high again?"

"Not really. Crazy shit flying around everywhere is nice once in a while, but now I've got a case of the super-munchies, so no. Plus, I should probably go soon."

"It's barely morning!"

"Dude, it's probably almost lunch time."

"It is?" Lars opened the curtains behind the couch a fraction, squinting at the light. "Wow, that's bright."

"Speaking of lunch," Gilbert's stomach growled and he gestured to the cake.

"Yeah, no. It's mine."

"Then what will _I_ eat?'

"There's a nice diner a few blocks away."

"A diner? But I don't have any money..."

"Then go mooch some off of Roderich."

"Good idea, except for the fact that he kicked me out."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N- 50 views? That definitely deserves another chapter. Also, I forgot. I don't own Hetalia. Noooo, don't sue me! XD

No, Gilbert. No.

"He kicked you out?"

"For a few days."

"Why?"

"I was being a bit lazy..."

"Worse than usual?"

"...Ja."

"I suppose you could stay here."

"Really? Cool!"

"As long as Belle is cool with it, I am."

"Yeah! No one can resist the awesome charismatic charm of me!"

Belle looked up from her fashion magazine. "No, you can't stay."

"But why...?"

"Because I'm going shopping with Michelle and I don't want this place to be destoyed when I get back."

"But I wouldn't _destroy_ it!"

"You wouldn't?"

"No!"

"...I don't believe you."

"Fine, I'll leave." Gilbert sighed. "No one takes my awesomeness seriously."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N- Multiple updates today again, because I'm going to be internet-less after Saturday. Band practice starts on Monday and I have to be home by then, soooo here you gooooo.

A Prussian, A Frenchman, and a Spaniard Walk into a Bar... Or Not

*In Austria, later that day*

Gilbert searched through his mind for things to do as he lounged on a park bench in Vienna.

'I probably shouldn't go annoy Roddy.' he thought, listening to the orchestra as they practiced. 'What else is there to do?'

Then an idea formed in his mind (I know, rare, right?).

"Hey, guys!" Gilbert said enthusiastically into his phone, not waiting for an answer.

"Quoi, Gilbert?"

"Wondering if you guys wanna go clubbing. I'm stuck in Vienna."

"You finally ticked Roderich off?" said an accented voice.

"Ja, I did. So, about the clubbing..."

"Non, I can't. I've got mon lapin."

"I can't either. I promised Lovi dinner and-" Loud Italian yelling filled the phone line.

"Okay then," Gilbert hung up, his voice filled with determination. "I'll go by my self."


	9. Chapter 9

Who Are You?

Hours later, Gilbert could be found dancing under the flashing lights of one of Austria's most popular clubs.

Moving through another group of people to the bar, he ordered yet another drink. Turning to make conversation with the guy beside him, he saw the most peculiar sight.

A dark- haired man with pale skin and sparkly eyeshadow peered at him from behind wire-framed glasses.

"Do I know you?" the man asked suspiciously.

"No, do I know _you_?"

"Hmm... yes, you _do_ look familiar." He said, nodding in confirmation, a stray piece of hair bobbing. Gilbert squinted at the mysterious stranger, trying to make out a face despite his intoxication. "Yeah, you're... that guy..."

"What guy?"

"Eh..? Just some guy... that I know... and is an asshole."

"He doesn't sound that bad, Gilbert."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N- 80 viewers? Holy crapola! I guess you guys like some fan fiction with your cuppa joe?

The Man With The Sparkly Eyeshadow

"Whoa, how do you know ny name... are you magic?"

"No, I'm-"

Gilbert gasped loudly."Hey, you're Roddy! But what are you doing here?"he gestured to the energetic club around them.

"I'm here to- y'know, I don't think I have to explain that."

"But really, a stuck up guy like you- here?" he said, his words slightly slurring.

"Even I have to get out sometimes."

"Yeah," Gilbert took a drink. "What about Kugel?"

"I left him with Elizaveta."

"... Is that even a slightly good idea?"

"...Perhaps not."

"Maybe we should go get him."

"Yes, we should... but I can't see Elizaveta like this," he motioned to his perfectly sparkly eyeshadow. "She'd _fan girl_ all over me. Not to mention we're still slightly... "

"... crunk."

"Yes, Gilbert. Crazy drunk."


	11. Chapter 11

A/N- 100 views? This is the second day. Much more than I expected.

I didn't title any of the other chapters, I don't think.

Chapter 11

"So, since I'm probably not going to get much done with you here, why don't we go home?" Roderich suggested as Gilbert downed _another_ drink, wobbling slightly.

"Ja, I think we should-" Gilbert face-planted on the tiled floor.

The bartender looked concerned. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Hmm... Probably not. I suppose we'll be going then." Roderich dragged the albino to his feet.

"Wha-?"

"Come on, we're leaving."

"Oh, okay..."

They made theirr way around the corner of the club, calling a taxi. They couldn't drive because they were both uber drunk and neither had a car with them.

As the city lights flashed by, they were once again at Roderich's posh house. Once they were inside, Gilbert promptly passed out on the couch.\


	12. Chapter 12

A/N- If my German is wrong, can someone tell me, please? Thank you!

Chapter 12

*Die Morgen*

"Roddy! Make it end! This is almost as bad as the time that I got high with Lars." Gilbert cried, as being draped over the arm of a couch with a tremendous hangover is _not _pleasant, so it appears. Either that, or Gilbert felt like being whiny. Probably the latter.

"Guten Morgen, Gilbert."

"Mein Gott! Help meeeee."

"How?" Roderich stared at him skeptically.

"Make the lights shut up!"

"Even if that were possible, I'd rather not."

"Whyyyyy?"

"BVecause you need to face the consequences of your stupidity," he said, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Get up, we need to go get Edwin."

"Exactly, why..?"

"He's either very spoiled, or got in trouble and is now facing our Hungarian friend's wrath.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N- It says that I have 4 reviews, but I only see 2. That's weird. Can anyone explain this?

Chapter 13

They drove Roderich's BMW to Elizaveta's house, with Roderich driving, of course.

"Ja! To Elizaveta's Hause!"

"Gilbert," Roderich said, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. "Would you please be quiet?"

"But we have to save Kugel!"

"And we will."

"Ah, so is the drinking finally catching up with you? Kesesese!"

"Shut up! I can't think while you're talking!"

"Oh hey! There's Elizaveta's Hause!"

Roderich parked the car and Gilbert pranced up the stairs, rapidly ringing the doorbell.

"What?! Oh hey, are you finally coming to pick up Edwin?"

"Ja," Gilbert ran into the house, where Edwin was sketching.

"Hey, Kugel! Ooh, cookies!"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Gilbert took one of the varied cookies and stuffed the entire thing into his mouth. '

"Wow! Hey, Elizabeta actually _can_ bake!"

"Yeah, no thanks to you!" Elizaveta appeared in the doorway, menacingly wielding a frying pan. Roderich was hiding behind her.

"We probably shouldn't overstay our visit..."

"Yeah." Edwin flipped his notebook closed and grabbed a few cookies, which, strangely, were all snickerdoodle.

They left after bidding goodbye to Elizaveta and drove home.

Upon entering the house, Edwin immediately fled to his rooms.

Roderich glanced in the direction that Edwin escaped. "I would have thought he would be happy to see us."

"Dude, would _you_ like to come back here if you were being fed cookies and left to do no chores whatsoever?"

Roderich sighed. "She's spoiled him."


	15. Chapter 15

A/N- My review dilemma has been resolved! Fereve13 has reviewed awesomely! Sorry people and thank you! Now for the next chapter!

Prudery

*In the dining room*

"I would really prefer it if you would eat like a proper human being."

"And why would I do that, Priss?"

"Because you are degrading yourself and everyone around you."

"Fine, fine. Just quit with the prudery."

"Whoever said I was being a prude?!"

"...Please don't kick me out again."

Roderich almost facepalmed. "Of course I wouldn't evict you again."

"Wha-? Really?"

"Edwin missed you so much."

"...oh. Um... Kugel missed me?"

"Yes. He was worried that you'd go over to Belle's house-"

"It's actually Lars' house."

"- and get high again."

"Er, well..."

"You didn't, did you?"

"N-No, of course not."

Roderich narrowed his eyes at him. "Okay then, but I don't want you to do anything else stupid."

"Okay."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

*Still in the dining room*

"Ah, so you lied."

"Uh... no, I didn't."

"It's okay if you did, I guess."

"R-Really?"

"_No_, Gilbert. If you ever do that again, I'm taking away your video game rights for a month."

"What?!"

"I'd advise you to be quiet now. I could have taken away your beer."

Gilbert gasped dramatically. "You can't away my beer! It's what makes me so awesome!"

"Is that all?"

"No! That's the most terrible thing that you could do to me!"

"I think that the most terrible thing that I could do to you is either disfigure your face or kill Gilbird."

Gilbert gasped at Roderich like he commited some heinous crime. "G-Gilbird? But He's my favorite!"

Roderich stared at Gilbert left he room, off in a mock tantrum.

"Whyy?" Roderich slammed his forehead into the table. 


	17. Chapter 17

A/N- Favorite chapter so far! XD

Chapter 17

"Curse your insolence," Roderich muttered, glaring at the source of his fury. Gilbert had been chatting with Edwin when, somehow, he had become convinced that Edwin had stolen his bracelets. It made absolutely no sense in Roderich's mind.

"Give me my bracelets!"

"I didn't take them!"

"Then who did?"

"You probably lost them!"

"Admit it! Confess!"

"How am I supposed to confess to something that I didn't do?!"

"Whatever! I'll get the langweilig Mensch to get it out of you!"

"Noooo! Not Roderich!"

'So it appears that he _did_ steal Gilbert's bracelets. But _why_?'

Edwin ran away from Gilbert as he was chased. Roderich followed them to make sure no one got injured, if anything else.

Sadly, Roderich's wish of a hospital free day wasn't granted.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N- 150 views in two days? I feel awesome.

Chapter 18

A horrendous 'crack' sounded as a painting fell off of the wall. It landed on just the right place so the bone in Gilbert's arm broke almost cleanly in half.

Roderich gasped as he saw one protruding end of the bone, blood gushing over everything. Edwin stood by, looking guilty at what he thought he had caused.

"Oh, Scheiss," Gilbert saw his wound and paled considerably.

"Come on, let's get you to the hospital." Roderich helped Gilbert stand up and get to the car. Edwin looked conflicted between two choices; whether to go with them, or to stay there as punishment to himself.

Roderich saw this and his expression softened. "I suppose you don't have to tag along, but I think he," he nodded towards Gilbert, who was already in the car. "would like it if you came with me."

Edwin smiled. "Okay."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

"So, it looks like your friend, Gilbert, broke his right fore arm here," the doctor pointed to the x-ray, where a line of black cut through the lighter color of his bone. "And here." A finger pointed to his wrist, where a fracture could be seen.

"It appears that it broke when the frame came into contact with his arm."

"Okay, then," Roderich acted cool. In reality, he wwas probably really worried.

"Sooooo. Now that that's over, let's go home and play video games."

Through all of this, Edwin was quite remorseful. He stayed quiet the entire time.

When they were almost ready to leave, Edwin stopped Gilbert.

"I'm sorry that I took your bracelets." Edwin almost whispered. "Will you forgive me."

"Of, course, Kugel." Gilbert put them on his left wrist. "They're even awesomer now."


	20. Chapter 20

A/N- 200 views! So awesome! You guys make me feel awesomer than I already did. XD

Chapter 20

Weeks later, Roderich was getting tired of Gilbert's bitchiness. Since the albino broke his dominate hand, he couldn't do _anything_ by himself. He called Roderich and Edwin for pretty much everything, complained about the fact that he couldn't play video games very well, and his handwriting was terrible ( not that it was very good in the first place).

"Roderich?"

"What?"

"Help me!"

Roderich rushed down to the study where Gilbert was, slightly worried.

"What do you want?"

"Can you cut this for me?" Gilbert was holding a pair of scissors and pointing at a cut out on the table.

"What is that?"

"Oh, this? It's a 3-D model."

"Why can't you be normal and read books?"


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"La la la, la la!"

"Feli? What are you doing?"

The short guy was running around in the rain, singing something about a parade. "It's raining, Gilbert!"

"And?" Gilbet watched in slightly awkward silence as the little Italian danced around on Ludwig's pristinely cut lawn.

"It's raining! Ve!"  
'When with Italy...

*later*

The Austrian stared out the window at the stupidest thing he thought he'd ever see.

Gilbert, I'm-too-awesome-for-basically-everything, Gilbert,was outside playing in the rain with a peppy Italian guy.

"-It's the middle of fall!" The purple eyed man stormed outside. It was cold out.

"Dummkopfen! Get back inside, or you'll catch a cold!"


	22. Chapter 22

A/N- This has gained a follower/favoriter! Awesome! Plus it has 4 reviews and 255 views! Whoa, bro. I kinda just want to post as much as I can just to celebrate. :D

Chapter 22

"Whyyyyyy?" Gilbert whined.

"Why do we have to have these blankets, Roddy?" Feliciano asked.

"You have colds you idiots. Why the c-key were you out in the rain? Especially in the middle of Herbst."

Gilbert looked a bit ashamed, but Feli looked confused. "...What's Herbst?"

The albino looked perplexed. After all, who didn't speak German?

"Oh, yeah... you're Italian." Gilbert mumbled.

"It means 'Autumn', Feliciano."

"Oh, that's cool!"

The three sat in almost silence, the rain still passing and Feli humming a song in Italian about a boat.

"What are you singing?" Gilbert asked.

Feli thought about it. "A song aboput a girl who wants to go America on a boat."

"Oh, okay."

"Too bad the ship sinks halfway through the song."


	23. Chapter 23

Sprechen Italien?

"What?!" Red eyes widened in suprise. Roderich still looked slightly emotionless.

"You didn't know that?"

"It's not like I speak Italian!"

"You don't?"

"Nein, I've never really needed to."

"I thought that that would've been apart of your education as a nation."

"You have to learn to be a nation?"

"Nation, micro-nation, ex-nation, which you'd be."

"The memory of the awesome Prussian shall live on!"

"Your *cough* narcissism*cough* shall live on."

"Hey, Priss, did you get a cold, too?"

"No."

"Hey-a, I'm still-a here-a!"

"Riiiiggghhhhttttt."

"You two should probably get some sleep. It's already after nightfall."

"Okay-a! Good night!"

"Guten nacht."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"Ah-CHOO!" Feli sneezed, snot spraying everywhere.

"Ew! Dude, take a tissue!" Gilbert threw a Kleenex box at him, hitting Feliciano in the face.

*Time skip*

"I have soup- what happened to Feliciano's eye?!" Roderich almost dropped the bowls of soup that he was holding. A moderately sized bruise formed on his cheek and a cut dragged from the center of his eyebrow to the corner of his eye.

"What happened to Feliciano?!"

"Um... the Kleenex box."

"Did you _beat_ him with it?!"

"Nein! I just tossed it to him!"

"Don't throw things! You could have blinded him!"

"And..?"

"And then we'd have Lovino to deal with."

"... I really, really don't wnat to deal with him."

"Exactly."


	25. Chapter 25

Punchies

Days passed and the guys' colds went away (with maximum complaining from Gilbert, of course).

Roderich was slightly annoyed by the fact that Lovino was supposed to pick Feli up and Gilbert was playing punchies with him over who got shotgun when Lovi got there.

"What are you doing? Gilbert, it's not like you're going with them."

"But I want to play punchies!"

"...Feliciano bruises like a summer peach and Lovino is going to be here today. Are you sure you want to do that?"

"...No."

"And my point has been made."

A car horn honked from outside. "Feli, Piano Bastard, Potato Bastard II! I'm here!"

Lovi knocked on the door impatiently. Then he saw Feliciano's bruised face.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter XXVI

"How the hell did this happen to Feli?!"

Gilbert shifted nervously from foot to foot as both Lovino and Roderich stared at him, although the look on Roderich's face was more of a 'how-dare-you-get-us- in- this- predicament-you-Dummkopf' while Lovino's was more of a 'what-the-fuck-happened-to-Feli-tell-me-now-or-I'll-rip-your-brains-out-slowly-and-enjoy-every-moment-while-you-sit-there-helplessly-and-die-of-bloodloss'. Gilbert didn't know which was scarier.

"I'm going to assume it was you, Potato Bastard," Lovino said, looking over Feli's wounds. The poor 'piccolo Italiano' had bruises on his face and arms from where they had played punchies and cuts and his eyebrow and cheek. Although he had all of this, he was still smiling like usual.

Lovino sighed, "We should probably get back soon. I don't want Tomato Bastard to eat all of my tomatoes."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

The Italians left, leaving the two by the door.

"Well, that was eventful."

Roderich slapped the supposed Prussian. "I thought he was going to call up the mafia and shoot us!"

"Why would shoot us? Aren't we Feli's friends?"

A timid Edwin peeked around the doorframe.

"Oh, hello, Edwin." Roderich said as soon as he saw the purple eyed boy.

"Kugel?! Where?!" Gilbert spotted the kid, who was talking to Roderich.

"-and I also drew a picture of Lovino's angry face and Feli."

"Oh?" Roderich looked over sketch with interest. Gilbert couldn't help but take a look.

He snickered. The drawing was ridiculous, yet was strangely accurate.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

A long, long time later (many weeks), Gilbert's arm was healed and the cast was ready to came off.

"I don't need an unawesome doctor to get this cast off! I'll do it myself!"

"No, Gilbert. You'll only hurt yourself more. Just let the doctor take it off."

"Fine."

*A long and boring car trip later*

Dr. Francis Bonnefoy spotted a familiar name on his patient list as the nurse brought in the next one.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt!" the nurse called. An albino, a purple eyed man, and a kid with a weird haircut followed her from the waiting room.

Gilbert almost had a heart attack when he saw Francis in a doctor's uniform.

"Who the hell are you impersonating?"


	29. Chapter 29

A/N- I have over 300 views! AWESOME! I'm proud of you guys! Plus, tomorrow is the Fourth of July (American Independence Day awesomeness) and I'm not going to be allowed on the computer, so I'm going to have to post the last few chapters today.

Chapter 29

"Moi? Non! I am hurt!"

Edwin watched the spectacle with interest. He hadn't ever been to a hospital, but this doctor looked a bit un-doctorish.

"Francis, if I may inquire, where, exactly, did you get your degree?"

"A college in Amerique. I forget what it's called," he shrugged.

"That's reassuring." Gilbert said sarcastically.

"Well, according to this, Gilbert, you're scheduled to take that cast off."

"How did you know that? Are you psychic?"

"No, Gilbert. Sadly, he's truly a doctor. A certified one."

As Gilbert was dragged away to get his cast removed, Roderich and Edwin hung around vending machines. Twenty minutes later, a castless Gilbert showed up.

"So weird," Gilbert said, moving his arm.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Lovino Vargas was at Gilbert's (Roderich's) house. _Lovi and Feli _were at _Gilbert's house._

The issue here was Gilbert's _slight_ crush on Feli _and_ Lovi. But he only wanted one of the Vargas twins. How does that work, you ask? No idea, ask Gilbert.

"Why are the Italians still here?" asked Edwin, who was slightly annoyed by Feliciano's infinite happiness.

Gilbert, meanwhile, was playing video games with Feli. Roderich watched, laughing a bit. The albino was losing spectacularly. Lovino laughed with him, thinking it was funny as hell to see the arrogant Potato Bastard get his butt kicked by his brother.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The Vargas twins frequented the Austrian's home, for whatever reason.

Feli played video games with Gilbert, sometimes cleaned, but mostly did what he normally did; he was overly happy and spread it to everyone like a disease.

Lovi, on the other hand, mostly sat around and sometimes provided an audience for Roderich's concert practices.

One day, while he was listening to one of these practices, Edwin innocently asked Lovino why he didn't go home.

Lovi stared at the floor with a solemn gaze, mumbling something about Toni and an 'idiota'.

Sensing the sadness radiating off of him, Edwin hugged him and Lovino hesitantly hugged back.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

"Nu-uh, pedo!" Gilbert yelled out from nowhere.

"I'm not a pedo, bastard! He hugged me! Idiota, he's, like, five!"

"I'm twelve! Zwolf, I say!"

"Shut up, Kugel."

"Hey, wait! What's going on?" Roderich was slightly angry, having his practice interrupted and all.

"Uh, sorry, Roddy."

'

"_Don't call me that infernal nickname!_"

"What, you don't like the awesome nickname that I chose for you?"

"I despise it!"

"Exactly."

"Does that magically make it better?!"

"Ja, Roddy! It _does_!"

"I think I'm going to go home for today..."

"The _week_ , pedo bear."

"Fine, then. Ciao."


	33. Chapter 33

A/N- THE LAST CHAPTER! I'm kinda sad that this has to end.

Chapter 33

"Gilbert, I have something to tell you..."

"Ja?"

"Well, I probably should have told you sooner, but, um..."

"Ja..?"  
"...Edwin is yours!"

"Kugel is what?"

"Edwin is your son!"

"Whoa... Awesome!" Gilbert pondered for a bit. "Then who's his mom? I don't remember banging any chicks twelve years ago."

"Yeah, well..."

"Whatever!" Gilbert left to either play video games or to do something insanely stupid.

*In the other room*

"Hey, Kugel!"

"Yeah?"  
"I AM YOUR FATHER!" Gilbert bellowed in a Darth Vader voice.

"...you're my _what_?!" Edwin thought about it for a second. "Then that means that Roderich isn't my dad, but my... mom?"

"Whoa, yeah! Kesesese! I got Roddy preggers!"

A/N- Yes, the end. Roddy is a mother! BOOM! Betcha didn't expect that!


End file.
